I attended at meeting last night about the new development in Leith Docks.Poor show!It was held in an empty unit in Ocean Terminal.Concrete floor,badly lit,bad sound pretty bad all round.People mumping on about this and that.You know that old protitute problem again etc.I call it character.

I do not see what all the fuss is about.I remember Leith when it was still apache country.Dark,dank and pretty scary.The people however, have always had an incredible sense of community spirit.Now is the time to welcome the new development so as to avoid a them and us situation which will cause a lot of damage.

Platinum Point is being built partially on reclaimed land and partly on the old Motherwell Bridge site which became an eyesore when it was used to store thousands of pipes for British Pipe Coaters(80,000 flats to be precise).I have seen this before in Bahrain and Dubai and do not have a problem with it.

What a buzz!My first time on live radio as a guest celebrity.I was asked to appear on Leith FM's Two Grumpy Old Men slot to explain the concept of "Leithiopia",which went down really well,I hope.However I do not think that I was grumpy enough.Nevermind it's all Rock and Roll.

Peter Russel and DJ Womble were as professional as ever and I was impressed with the radio station itself.It has come a long way considering it is manned purely by volunteers.

Keep up the good work.Go Leith FM!

p.s. Well done Tony!

I managed to score a freeticket for the "Burns an' a' That" Gala concert through in Ayr and boy was it worth it.Surreal was the operative word.Culzean is probably one of the most amazing country parks in Scotland and an ideal venue for a Burns festival,but with Lou Reed headlining?

After an impressive trip through on three Stagecoaches and a pitstop in Ayr for mince and tatties(naturally) we pitched our tents and legged it down to Culzean through some of the most amazing woodland I have seen in Scotland.As we approaced a full symphony orchestra was playing some rather airy razz-a-mattaz.Why?I don't know!Very disturbing.

Eddie Reader with said orchestra and Johnny Cunningham et al,sang a seriies of Burns ballads beautifully.It was then that I noticed the audience.A real mishmash of regular heads,gadgies,gadgettes,old hippies,punks and wellyboot brigade.Yes wellyboot brigade,complete with thier own fold down chairs.We just sat on the wall of the foutain court,which is actually a walled garden right below the castle itself containing a large fountain.

After loads of folkie stuff-halftime.Beers and roast aberdeen angus beef and gravy butties.I jest you not.How posh is that.The promised rain stayed off,even better!

I was a wee bitty puzzled at why Lou Reed was there and then I remembered that he had recently won an Ivor Novello award.He has always been into the likes of Edgar Allan Poe and has been wrestling with the question of "Why am I here?" for most of his life.All his lyrics are poetry anyway.

As he took the stage the hairs on the back of my neck all stood to attention.The crowd went crazy...He delivered a mixed bag of tracks from Transformer,Berlin etc. and a superb monologue of "Vanishing Act" off Ecstasy.The surroundings supplied the most surreal environment I have been for a long while.

Eddie Reader,knees still wobbling from singing backing vocals,then gave us a rendition of Auld lang's syne whereupon the entire audience stood up,linked arms and joined in.Wow!

The rest of the weekend involved loads of whisky and walking around the 550 acres of woodland.Why not?We were there.Saturday night's barbeque on the beach at sunset was pretty wild.Just Mhairi,Andy myself and Arran,Kintyre,Bute,Ailsa Craig and the coast of Eyre in the distance.

What a beautiful day for a funeral.Yesterday that is .Rachael's funeral was superb,although  I thought there would been a slighly larger turnout.The Port o' contingent convoy meandered up in various modes of transport laid on by Mary.The young lady minister gave us a very poingant synopsis of Rachael's unusual life with some rather nice poetry thrown in.She covered all bases, including those of us who are of  a different persuasion when it comes to religion. I put in a word for Big AL with the big man seeing that I was in his hoos.

Back to the "Port" for some liquid celebration.Pam and I got trashed in a style that Rachael would have been proud of.Scottie arrived back from sea and everything got better and better.All's well that ends well.I just hope AL's well!

I needed something to cheer me up .These worked, kind of.

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place"

" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."

" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life".

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get  her to go swimming.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weawy givths a thit."

 I'm going stir crazy again so I am off to the Port o' Leith.

..............................................................................................................................

 Well that worked.A bit like going to "Luvley", but on a Sunday afternoon.boomboomboom 

Politics,resolution 1441 and everything!

Check my Blog pictures to see what she really thinks.

What's all that about?"Deep Six"is a coloquialism adopted by divers borrowed from the navy.It is a term used to describe an underwater fatality."Where's Albert RN?" - " Sorry He's deep six,mate!"

Speaking of accidents,when a diver working in the old standard gear(canvas suit & copper/brass helmet) fell off a platform while working on a ship's hull into the deep blue yonder,he was squeezed by the pressure into the helmet.If the remains were recovered the suit was scraped off and they used to bury the helmet!Only joking.

Here is one I wouldnae mind being buried in.

April 2005 **..20 Reasons Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex..**

1. You can GET chocolate.

2. 'If you love me you'll swallow that' has real meaning with chocolate.

3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.

5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.

6. You can have chocolate in front of your mother.

7. If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate wont mind.

8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called names.

9. The word 'commitment' doesnt scare off chocolate.

10. You can have chocolate on top of your work desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.

11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.

12. You dont get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.

13. With chocolate theres no need to fake it.

14. Chocolate doesnt make you pregnant.

15. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.

16. Good chocolate is easy to find.

17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.

18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.

19. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbours awake.

20. With chocolate size doesnt matter, its always good.

Friday night and I am staying in trying repair the damage that I did to my alabamah blog.Sad puppy!I nearly lost it trying to get a link to nakedblog,as his Rss is on the fritz, using "Blogrolling",bogrolling morelike.After a wee trip to the Port o' Leith I managed to kick some html ass.Html is so sensitive,a bit like me.Ha!One line too many and the game's a bogey.

So I came here for some sanity and I managed to upload some pictures.It's so easy here!